Rootbeer: “I’m not sure I’m really a dog!”

Q: What’s your full name?
A: Rootbeer Burke Hernandez

Q: Tell us about yourself:
A: I have always been a regal, sophisticated, steady, no-nonsense gentleman. I ooze compassion and wisdom. I relate to humans more than animals and am quite confused to be honored in this issue as a pet. While I’m sweet and loving, I also rallied once during a break-in and pretended to be a fierce guard dog! It worked and that mutt ran away. 

Q: What’s your favorite vacation spot?
A: In my youth I was a lover of the beach. My mom and I lived in Pismo Beach for a few years and I spent all my weeknights being spoiled with endless tennis ball throws into the ocean. They don’t allow dogs on the beach so I befriended all the lifeguards who would look the other way! It was absolute heaven minus getting sand hosed off after! Brrr!

Q: What do you like to do with your family?
A: Did someone say leash? Take me absolutely anywhere, I regain my puppyhood whenever I am attached to my blue rope. Around the block, Lodi Lake or the pet store. Don’t even get me started on how amazing the invitation into the car makes me feel!

Q: We all have guilty pleasures; what’s yours?
A: Nightly I am invited onto the couch to watch some dark TV shows like Dateline, First 48 Hours, Law and Order. The nerves of my mom lead to lots of petting for me. As far as dog pleasures, I am a sucker for toddler droppings under the kitchen table. Thank goodness my sister is picky and secretly parts with lots of her food! Who wouldn’t want the crusts?

Q: Where do you go for pampering?
A: I don’t require much in terms of grooming but I sure do get excited to gain attention of the gals when getting a bath at the Lodi PetSmart. They always rave about my sweetness and there’s lots of “good boys” being thrown around.

Q: Have you ever been a naughty dog?
A: I would rather not discuss it or rehash the past as this incident was completely out of my character. However, there was an incident with the appetizer table when my parents hosted a party one New Years Eve. I could’ve sworn everyone was done eating them and I figured I deserved to ring in the New Year as much as anyone else.

Q: What’s your obsession?
A: My dad, Donnie. As far as adoring fans in my life, he is the least enthusiastic about my charms and yet is my favorite person to follow around. I love standing behind him before he moves anywhere. He stands, I stand. He sits, I sit on his feet. He sits still, I demand eye contact. I just can’t get enough of him.

Q: What’s your favorite treat?
A: Do you know that feeling when Mom makes school lunches? I can always count on her to toss a piece of cheese, a handful of popcorn or some toddler delights my way. I sure wish she packed lunch on Saturday and Sunday.

Q: Where were you born?
A: I was a Stockton pound dog. My mom grabbed me at an adoption on Hammer Lane when I was a puppy. That was ten years ago! She was on the hunt for a small, non-shedding, little companion and instead she got her GQ model of a dog soul.

Q: Who are your human family?
A: Amy, Donnie and Riley (4) Hernandez