Happy, Happy, Happy Mother’s Day
“Make a joyful noise” is a personal focus phrase that would unintentionally manifest itself, throughout time, in this path of motherhood. My own mother was loving, wise and taught us to remain thankful for the divine blessings of life. She guided us to respect and learn from relationships, values that establish support for a lifetime.
In an excerpt from “A gift for mom,” penned by my brother, the prose begins with “You told us a lot of things, dear mama. When our goals seemed overwhelming you told us how we could move mountains, one spoonful at a time. And somehow the path looked clear again, and we continued our tasks with a renewed commitment.”
I remember a treasured figurine of a girl and duck sitting on my childhood nightstand. The inscription “Make a joyful noise” was the daily psalm I grew to understand as a calling to pursue life joyfully. However, there would be mountains in the way.
I followed in my mother’s footsteps and became a nurse, married my prince and I myself became a mother.
Unexpectedly, those memorized books on expecting yielded nothing that we expected! Our son, Danny, would require extra care, as he was born with the genetic defect Down syndrome. My husband, Steve, and I had full-time careers and, reflectively, our personal paths shifted. Our focus on parenthood was met with the extreme challenges of unimaginable new concerns for our baby. Processing feelings were softened by our love, faith, shared family goals and the guidance of people we had yet to meet.
The journey strengthened as we were embraced by community advocates, mentors and alliances we met along the way. We learned to remain above the noise and to reach for the joys as we stood facing a mountain of challenges.
While typical milestones were not to be in our repertoire, we were overjoyed when Danny’s first words were “Happy Happy Happy.”
Sorting through the multitudes of memories and trailblazers with whom we now share a path, I am reminded of the importance of people who prepared each step.
Danny required a specialized care that was relatively unavailable until Dr. Robert Popper angelically happened to be at the hospital on my delivery day. He was one of many leaders who subsequently played a critical role in guiding us. He had an innate quality, beyond his medical intellect and skill, to relate to our son. His specialized cardiac clinic in south Stockton served those of us with babies and complex needs.
The community agency Valley Mountain Regional Center, provided an early plan for supportive services. The VMRC medical director, Dr. James Popplewell, a genuine advocate, provided encouragement and taught that all behavior was a communication requiring attention.
Those reassurances prepared me for perspectives that eventually formed foundations to confidently shift course and elevate both parenting and my nursing practice.
Living and raising our children in Stockton was the solid base for family grounding and public service opportunities. While Walton Special Center provided early intervention, meeting new families motivated my first encounters for public service. Pat Bertilacchi and Jean Wiltz were the first energetic parents I met. They came to our home to share love and wisdom, sprinkling the path of encouragement to move us forward. We enthusiastically met with a small group of parents also navigating the new world of Down syndrome, eventually developing The Brighterside of Down Syndrome, parent network. An agency serving families with a mission to support families of children with disabilities led me to join as a co-incorporator and early board member for the Family Resource Network.
Compassionate mothers who raised their own children with developmental disabilities were divinely and strategically placed in our lives. These pioneering community leaders elevated the noise. Thelma Stewart, an established leader for championing disability causes, became a focal influence, as our sons, Donny and Danny, became fast friends. Her family-friendly fundraisers exemplified community inclusion and philanthropy. Jean Schrader taught me to be a strong leader. She supported the Hanot House, Ronald McDonald House and the ARC. Her encouraging spirit led me to follow and to serve on the ARC Board. Millie Lewis strongly directed my career path as the catalyst for the Mildred Luck Lewis Foundation Grant and supported me to coordinate the hospital-based Special Needs Caregiver Program. That platform was a springboard for expanded opportunities to currently serve on national organizations promoting healthcare-focused practice standards, medical education and equitable care for people with developmental disabilities.
Danny’s daily adventures and personality flood my social media posts. He has a strong bond with his brother, Paul, and his cousins. Danny is an inspiration, has a unique voice and introduces us to new mentors and community heroes every day.
While making a joyful noise is a lesson of simplicity, each challenge is a renewed commitment to ensure that we blaze paths, cross paths and ultimately move mountains.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY Mother’s Day!
By: Doreen Bestolarides
