Bessie Paris: The Best Motivational Speaker I Know

When I asked for an opportunity to write a column for HERLIFE Magazine, I was excited about the possibility of sharing some of my motivational anecdotes with readers. After playing in the NFL for ten years and winning three Super Bowls with the San Francisco 49ers, I have embraced my true calling as a motivational speaker. I champion a message that we are all born perfect for our purpose and there is nothing we can’t do.

That is how I have tried to use my voice as a motivational speaker. Sometimes that voice has been to individuals who needed to believe that they had the capacity to be victorious in the face of overwhelming difficulties. I made it a mission that when I faced people who were facing overwhelming obstacles, I would tell them that seeing is not believing, that you must believe to see.
According to American Cancer Society estimates, around 300,590 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023 and 43,700 will die from it. In California alone, there will be 32,020 diagnosed with 4,680 deaths. Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer among women in the world and it is the second leading cause of death with cancer in the U.S.

My mother, Bessie Paris, is 81 years old, and she was the first and most impactful motivational speaker I’ve ever experienced. Growing up, we were what many would consider poor. She would say, “Poor is a state of mind. We are not poor, we just lacked some of the necessities to function.” She would say, “If you believe that you are great and worthy of all the good that life has to offer and you don’t see yourself as a victim, one day you will have everything you dream of.” Her words were prophetic. My sister and I are living our best life.

When my mother posted a picture of herself in her Sunday best on Facebook with the caption, “Ladies, get a mammogram!” I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what a mammogram was. Through research, I learned a mammogram is an X-ray of the breast, used to detect breast cancer in women who may not have any signs or symptoms of the disease.

The American Cancer Society recommends that women start getting mammograms at age 45, and if you are at higher risk of breast cancer, you may need to start getting them earlier.

Mammograms are not perfect. They can sometimes miss cancer and find things that are not cancer. However, mammograms are the best way to find breast cancer early. This is important, because breast cancer can go undetected for an average of two and a half years and as long as ten years.

My mother was talking about mammograms, so I knew that she or someone close to her had breast cancer. My experience with my uncle, whom I lost to pancreatic cancer, broke my heart and changed me; I knew what the fear of dying from cancer looked and felt like. She’s my mother and I could not imagine seeing that look on her face. I had to muster up the courage to be an inspirational voice for her if she was fighting this disease. Mind and body medicine is real, and if you believe wholeheartedly, without doubt, that you can recover, an unwavering belief in your recovery gives you a much better fighting chance. You must believe, before you can see. Have faith in your recovery.

So, I called her to inquire about her posting. I didn’t want her to use the words “I have” and “cancer” in the same sentence. When it’s you or someone you love, the word cancer can take your breath away. It stops you dead in your tracks and nothing else in life seems to matter. This tiny cell has turned itself into an army that’s trying to kill, steal and destroy. I knew she was a very faithful, inspirational and motivational human being, but she’s my mom, and I didn’t want her to have to fight this disease. If she were fighting, I would have to put on my coaching mindset and help her fight this mutating cell that’s trying to take over.

When I finally talked with her candidly, she told me she had metastatic breast cancer that had migrated to her lymph nodes, lungs and stomach. Before I could even begin my motivational imprint, she told me that she has lived a long life, and if God decides it’s time for her to leave this world, she is content. But she said, “I have made-up in my mind that I am going to fight this little
demon cell!”

My mother is not alone. The American Cancer Society says about one in eight women in the U.S. will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of their lifetime. I understood why my mother was making a plea for women to get a mammogram. Early detection and treatment can improve the chances of survival.

The five-year survival rate for women with metastatic breast cancer is 30 percent. There are treatments along with a strong mental disposition that can improve your survival rate. My mother follows a treatment plan with medications that make her weak, yet they have shrunk the size of her tumors considerably with the hope that they can be removed with less invasive surgery.
If there’s ever been a time when my mother has garnered the utmost respect and admiration from me, it’s now, as she’s battling cancer. To see someone who is so hopeful and content with her circumstances makes me question whether I would be able to do the same, facing the same truth. Every morning she gets up, puts on an outfit, takes a picture and posts it on Facebook to give a bright, beautiful, hopeful and happy face to cancer. This is her way of saying, “I believe. I have faith that I can overcome this disease.”

I am an impactful motivational speaker because I have learned from the best. Even though she is fighting cancer, she motivates the people around her. At each of her doctor’s appointments, she looks in her closet and picks out the absolute best outfit, complete with shoes, dress, matching purse, a hat and all the accessories. She says she does this for two reasons; first, she wants to give other patients in the office fighting cancer a picture of hope. She also doesn’t want the doctors treating her to feel bad that she has cancer.

She told me, “Sometimes you find yourself in a tremendous battle, but you have to make a declaration: I may lose the battle, but I will win the war! I will not let cancer take away my hope or my ability to make people’s lives around me better. When it comes time for me to die, whenever that is, I want them to know that cancer didn’t take away my joy, my smile nor did it take away my desire to get up every morning and look like a queen!”

You can help her with this battle with cancer. Go to her Facebook page, Bessie Paris, and like her pictures as she shows the face of her fight with cancer every day.

A first-round draft choice for the San Francisco 49ers, William “Bubba” Paris is a former professional American football offensive tackle who played for the San Francisco 49ers of the National Football League from 1983 to 1990 and for the Indianapolis Colts and Detroit Lions in 1991. He was a member of three 49ers teams that won the Super Bowl. He is currently the CEO of the Tracy Community Connections Center. William “Bubba” Paris is a seasoned inspirational and motivational speaker for Fortune 500 companies, poet, author, ordained minister and evangelist. He is also founder of Paris Enterprises, a marketing and promotional firm. Learn more at bubbaparis.com.