I Love My Community: Carrie Natividad
Carolyn Natividad, an architect and partner at LDA Partners, sat down with HERLIFE Magazine recently to share her dedication to family and community.
HLM: How long have you lived here? What do you love most?
CN: I moved to Stockton in 2005. Immediately I saw the diversity in Stockton. I value being part of a community that recognizes and celebrates each other’s culture and heritage through festivals, food, music, dancing and art. Our community is vast and vibrant.
HLM: How is your heart inspired to serve the community?
CN: I’ve always wanted to serve my community outside of my profession. When I got a chance to be part of Leadership Stockton, I met so many incredible people with a singular goal: to contribute to our community. It’s amazing what can be done with a network
of people.
HLM: What sparks joy for you?
CN: I’ve learned that slowing down is a necessary part of my day. I wake up early and enjoy the stillness of the morning. The rest of the day is chaotic, and I would be telling a lie if I didn’t say the lunatic in me didn’t enjoy that part too. Watching my kids in their element is also a source of joy. Henry’s youth soccer games are better than any professional sporting event I’ve ever attended. Daphne’s theatrical performances, I could attend nightly and cheer with the same vigor as opening night.
HLM: Top three bucket list goals?
CN: I don’t have a bucket list but maintaining traditions with the closest people in my life is a priority. Finding spare time can often be difficult, so knowing that I have a weekend or an event (even as seldom as once a year) where we can catch up, laugh and make memories, I treasure and look forward to those moments.
HLM: What accomplishment are you most proud of?
CN: I’m most proud of the community work and my colleagues at LDA Partners. We have this unique opportunity to impact our community through the built environment. Our goal in every project is to reflect the community in which we are designing. I see the dedication, pride and enjoyment of my colleagues as they collaborate and problem solve in their architectural designs. They are an amazing group of people to be surrounded by daily.
HLM: Can you describe a key event that had an impact on your life?
CN: Nothing made me re-question the meaning of life like caring for my dad while he was going through cancer treatment and hospice. The last time I questioned my purpose, free will, time and space was in college lying on the roof of my apartment with my roommates well past 2:00 a.m. Since my father’s death, I reflect on this fairly often. This experience has the longest lasting impact on my spirituality and my life’s pursuits.
HLM: Outside of work, how is your time best spent?
CN: I mostly spend time with my immediate family. Our kiddos are still young, so I’m getting as much time with them as possible. They are constantly changing and growing. I learn new things about them daily, their interests, skills, humor, ambitions.
HLM: Do you have a favorite quote?
CN: “We cannot control the wind, but we can direct the sail.”
HLM: What are you currently reading?
CN: I mostly get my reading materials from my kids. And through them I have discovered the graphic novel. Currently I’m reading American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang. I never realized how much seeing and reading about characters that are like me could actually have an impact; I cried, I laughed, I felt seen. Even if it was my middle-school self that was seen, this middle-aged woman is grateful for these stories to finally be told.
HLM: Favorite food or dessert?
CN: Greek: falafel, dolmas and baklava. Vietnamese: pho, bun and spring rolls. Indian: chana masala biryani. Mexican: street corn. Salami!
In addition to Carrie’s reflection on her love for community, when we asked her about her experience with cancer, she responded with such transparency and honesty. So, we complete her Love for Community with her words.
Like a Pebble in My Shoe by Carrie Natividad
The cancer is gone. But it never leaves you.
It’s been five years since my cancer diagnosis and mastectomy, yet every day I’ve thought about it. It’s like having a pebble in your shoe that you can’t get rid of. It is seldom the main topic in your head, but it creeps up now and again. Sometimes more prominent, sometimes a faint reminder. So yes, being diagnosed with cancer had a huge impact on my life.
As a good Catholic boy, my husband would often say the Serenity Prayer (especially early in our marriage. Just kidding). I could never fully grasp the concept. I thought everything that happened in my life was under my own control. So, when I received my biopsy results, my first thought was understandably, “How long am I going to live?” But my second thought was the biggest gut punch, “What did I do wrong?” “What did I do to cause this?” “Don’t I already live a healthy life?” I was consumed with finding ways that I could be in control of this cancer situation. In the end, this experience has taught me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thinking, even for a split second, that you truly are going to die soon definitely resets your priorities. Although my prognosis was very good, my initial thoughts involved my own mortality and the people I was leaving behind. I increased my kids’ monthly college fund contributions, made sure all my debts were paid off, I made a mental list of potential suitors for my husband to grow old with. In the five years since my diagnosis, I am no longer preparing my family and friends for a life without me, but rather I’m intentionally living my life with them. Deliberately working on being present with my kids, spending quality time with friends and family, and growing comfortably old with my husband.
I was very fortunate that my cancer was diagnosed early. It still scared the heck out of me at the time, but my long-term prognosis is optimistic because of early screening.
Long story short, GET A MAMMOGRAM.
