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Parlez-vous Français?

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Photography courtesy of Laurie Eager

One of the rewards in later life is the gift of time to pursue hobbies and interests that may have been crowded out by the demands of working and raising a family. I treasure my weekly meeting with a group of seven women we affectionately call The Frenchies. Our Tuesday afternoons together have become part of the rhythm of our lives. We were originally drawn together over a love of the French language by Delta College professor Peggy Rocha, and it has become so much more than a language class. For more than 25 years the group has gathered in each other’s homes to continue learning French by reading books, poetry and articles, grammar exercises, writing, dictations and hour upon hour of conversation. We speak exclusively French when we are together and there is something about sharing our honest selves in a second language that opens us up without judgment or prejudice, fostering deep connections.

We come from a variety of backgrounds. There is a 25-year age span between the oldest and youngest in our group but we share a joie de vivre and passion that knows no boundaries. We have been attorneys, teachers, actresses, stay-at-home moms, business owners and more. We grew up in France, Argentina, Macau, the Bay Area, the Midwest and the Central Valley. We all love to travel and sharing our adventures enriches our time together.

Our lessons often center around a theme. This year we are reading a book about mindfulness. But our subject matter has covered nearly every topic you could imagine, from current events and politics, to the arts, wellness, culture, philosophy, entertainment and more. But mostly it is about sharing the fabric of our lives, our joys and heartaches, through every season of life that keeps us all coming back for more. We’ve seen each other through the births of grandchildren, the loss of parents, marriages of our children, health challenges and emotional ups and downs. We celebrate birthdays and host a special lunch each Christmas. It is this consistent sharing week after week that forms bonds that grow stronger with the passage of time. Coffee, dessert and laughter, a recipe for friendships that endure.

Time and again we read that positive human connection plays an important role in maintaining our emotional and physical health, well-being and growth. These bonds can result in a sense of purpose, great joy and satisfaction. You can create a shared-interest group for just about anything. Gather a group of people who enjoy a similar hobby such as quilting, birdwatching or classic movies. Meet regularly with people trying a new skill such as ceramics, pickleball or digital photography. Take a class, join a prayer group, volunteer at a museum or another place of need. These social connections can lead to longer life and better health and help us manage stress and anxiety.
Our Frenchies are creatives at heart, often sharing our skills with one another at our weekly classes. We’ve dabbled in mosaic, stained glass, knitting, watercolor, pasta making and gardening. We have taken shopping excursions together, gone to the theater, attended art exhibits and shared weekends at the beach. Perhaps the most memorable was our two-week trip to the south of France to visit a former member who relocated permanently to the city of Carpentras. We reveled in the ability to live a French life for a while, immersed in the language, culture, food and environment we all love. We walked in the footprints of Van Gogh, picnicked in a field of red poppies, went wine tasting at Châteauneuf du Pape, and explored the hilltop villages of Provence. Now, every time one of our group brings a bouquet of lavender to class, we are instantly transported back to that magical place.

I highly encourage you to take a leap of faith and explore new social connections through a shared interest group. You will discover new things about yourself in the process. In addition, the friendships you make will bring new excitement to this phase of your life.