Kriste Merin: “The antidote to fear is helping others.”

It is with absolute certainty that Kriste Merin said, “Getting breast cancer was not entirely a bad thing for our family when you see the blessings and relationships and ways we all became involved in the community. Despite how scared we all were, so much good came of it.”

“It is very scary for those close to you,” Kriste continued, “for my husband, Ryan, my parents, my kids, the family in general. But everyone came to help. It was all hands on deck working together and helping, and we all became just incredibly close.” The antidote to all that fear, Kriste discovered, is helping others, something that has been foundational to the family’s existence ever since. That discovery came most unexpectedly in the form of a cute little lemonade stand that her boys, Mason and Gavin, set up nearly two decades ago in front of their house with the assistance of their neighbor, Sydney Seligman.

The next year the other Seligman girls, Haley and Lexey, joined them, and 12 months later Brooke and Natalie Davis became part of the team. Both sets of girls had grandmothers who are now breast cancer survivors. Every year more kids joined to help with the annual October event now called Kids Taking a Stand, which consistently attracts 50 kids or more, all eager to help out. The take-what-you-want and give-what-you-want endeavor has clearly worked better than anyone imagined it would. “There were no prices on the items,” Kriste clarified. “People could donate whatever they wanted or were able, but they were free to take whatever they chose.”

Now a 501(c)(3) charity, Kids Taking a Stand benefits cancer patients in need and has, to date, donated over $300,000 to carefully selected projects and recipients. Besides the sale of lemonade, funds are generated by the sale of cookies, T-shirts and donations from businesses, individuals and service groups. “With those funds, our priority has always been to help people today with practical needs as opposed to future projects such as brick-and-mortar investments,” Kriste explained.

Kriste was just 32 when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Knowing their children were too little to understand, she and Ryan arranged for them to spend quality time with all of their grandparents to avoid disruptions in their schedules. “Because of that, they are so close and have such a wonderful relationship with each of their grandparents,” she said, still immensely grateful for all the love and help they have received.

“A cancer diagnosis affects everyone in the family,” Kriste points out. But she also looks back on those days fondly and observed, “You just never know how your actions and experiences can affect others for the better. The number of people from all walks of life who have been positively impacted by the lemonade stand, and the empathy and teamwork that my kids and their friends developed from seeing what other people go through, are just some of the immeasurable blessings that have come along as a result. When I look back, I never think of it as a negative,” she shared. “And today’s treatment protocols are so much better than 20 or 30 years ago. That in itself is so encouraging.”

A Rediagnosis
Ten years after her first diagnosis and treatment, Kriste received a second breast cancer diagnosis; thankfully, it was new and not a metastasis of the first. Still, it was a shock and, initially, she kept the new diagnosis to herself. She needed time to process this unexpected information. Struggling within, Kriste found herself taking longer than she ever intended before she could bring herself to tell friends and family. “I just could not bear the idea of adding fear and stress to their lives,” she explained. Pressing forward, she underwent surgery and began healing once again, a physical process she found far less tumultuous than the mental pain of trying to avoid burdening others.

Kriste still marvels at the empathy and community involvement Kids Taking a Stand creates in its young volunteers. Many children who began helping by making homemade posters and taping them to their bikes and razor scooters, riding around the neighborhood to promote the event, or helped to bake cookies and make lemonade, have grown into organizers, hospital volunteers and grant writers. Many who have stayed involved are now developing new ideas to expand the positive impact of the organization.

Kids Volunteering into Adulthood
When St. Joseph’s Cancer Center invited her older son, Mason, to be one of many volunteers who took turns manning a refreshment table for families of those in treatment, he jumped at the chance. He knew from personal experience what those long hours in the waiting area felt like for the families. Mason grew close to some of the patients, with one man making a lasting impression by talking with him about living your life so you don’t have regrets. Mason found the message so impactful that he used the experience to write his college entrance essay and is now a Cal Poly graduate.

Gavin, now a senior at Boise State, had a defining moment of his own in 2020. As the youngest of the kids who started the lemonade stand, Gavin was the only one still in Stockton when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. After much debate about whether or not they could even hold their yearly event, he forged ahead, orchestrating and running it as a drive-through in Lincoln Center. In addition to the baked goods, T-shirts and lemonade, they included face masks and hand sanitizer in exchange for the donations. The event was a huge success as well as another confidence builder for Gavin and the team of young volunteers.

Meeting Real Life Needs
Since its inception, Kids Taking a Stand has helped countless people as they navigate cancer treatment. Rather than relying on arbitrary guidelines, the group is able to evaluate on a case-by-case basis who to help and how best to do that. Many patients are referred by staff members at St. Joseph’s. One is Jim Linderman. Now retired, Jim and his wife, Trish, have spent their lives attending to the needs of others and have a special gift for connecting people in need with those who want to help. Representatives from Kids Taking a Stand had meetings with cancer center staff and were surprised at some of the items that were often not covered by insurance. In response, they developed a welcome package for all patients beginning treatment, which included necessities such as soothing post-radiation cream, a robe and other comforting items.

Kriste remembers one woman, a single parent undergoing cancer treatment, who was threatened with losing custody of her children if she did not install an air conditioner in her apartment. She had no way to fund this demand, so Kids Taking a Stand took care of that issue for her. “There are so many examples like these where we are simply meeting the real-life needs of the patients. Many of those patients, having now healed, are involved with the group to this day and thrive on paying it forward,” she shared.
Throughout the years, Kriste and her friend Kristi Seligman have been the parent advisors to the kids who ran the lemonade stand, which included their five children. But they’ve always known one day they would pass the baton to another family enabling other young participants to be involved. The event is now run by Brittany Ruhl and Katie Bertilacchi, whose children and many others will learn and benefit as the legacy continues. “What begins for children as a fun social event evolves into the fulfillment of personal growth and connection to the community,” Kriste said.

Just Do It
Kriste and her family find themselves living much more in the moment than before her diagnosis. “Vacations and big events were things we used to plan a year or more in advance. Now, if we get an idea or want to do something, we just go for it,” she said. That enthusiastic approach has spilled over, resulting in extra joy all around as they celebrate big family holidays and birthday parties with extended family.

The just-do-it mentality also applies to learning new skills and trying unfamiliar things. “It’s never too late to take on new things you’d like to do,” Kriste said. She remembers first embracing that idea when she was totally bald while undergoing treatment. She and Kristi Seligman devised a plan to take tennis lessons at 5:30 a.m. in order to learn the sport without feeling overly self-conscious. In the privacy of those early hours with a friend at her side for moral support, the plan was a success and fueled Kriste’s enthusiasm to continue taking on future challenges.

Through Jim Linderman, Kriste began connecting with newly diagnosed patients to discuss similarities in their experience and to lend support as someone who had already been down that path. Later, she served for several years as a director of business development in skilled nursing for all of the hospitals in the area.

Most recently, Kriste achieved another goal, passing all the required classes and tests and taking over her husband’s Farmers Insurance Agency. The Merin Insurance Agency has been in Ryan’s family for over 40 years and by assuming its leadership, Kriste ensured that they would continue to serve the community’s insurance needs while allowing Ryan to pursue other opportunities in the industry.

Many Ways to Help
Now 51, Kriste looks back with wisdom and appreciation for how far she and her family have come on this journey and says she is still moved to see people reaching out to help others in their time of need. “People always want to help, but they don’t always know how, and I think the lemonade stand gives them a variety of ways to do that,” she shared. “Even early on we would have 60 to 80 people offering to help out, to bake cookies or just do whatever was needed,” she recalled. Every year kids draw logos for the T-shirts and one is selected for that year. “I see people all over town wearing our T-shirts, and it’s really fun. In fact, when one of the participating kids went to college, his entire fraternity bought T-shirts to support our mission.” Years ago, Stockton did not have a place to buy specialty bras often needed by breast cancer patients, but even that has changed, said Kriste. Now the Lincoln Center Store, Theadora, carries them. “All these things, these efforts, add up,” she said, “It’s just really special to see how much good we can do for people near us with our involvement and giving back.”