Mary & Malcolm Berean: Partners in Love, Partners in Business
Mary and Malcolm Berean have found success and achieved work-life balance while raising their four children, establishing careers in social work and operating their private therapy practice. They follow the advice that they give their own clients. “Happy and fulfilling marriages are all about an emotional connection, teamwork, healthy communication, mutual respect, trust and shared values,” Mary said.
The Lodi couple met when they were students at Long Beach State University, where each earned a bachelor of arts degree in psychology. They married at Cathedral of the Annunciation in Stockton, Mary’s hometown, in 1995 before attending graduate school at Chapman University, where both graduated with a master of arts degree in counseling. In 2001, the Bereans received licenses in marriage and family therapy and started a small private practice, M&M Family Counseling, Inc.
In 1994, Mary and Malcolm received job offers from Share Homes, Inc., to serve as social workers for the social services nonprofit. The organization meets the needs of today’s children by helping match potential adoptive parents for children who need permanent homes, providing foster care, offering counseling services to children, couples and families, and providing supervised visits to those in the family court system. “We enjoy working together,” Mary said. “We have different responsibilities in the agency that allow us to have both independence and collaboration in the same social service setting.”
Mary and Malcolm thrived at Share Homes and in 2014 were named co-executive directors. Now with more than 30 years of experience, they continue the important work of serving foster children who have been removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect and helping find temporary homes or adoptive parents for at-risk children.
There is a great need for foster and adoptive parents in San Joaquin County. According to the Child Abuse Prevention Council, more than 1,500 children live in foster care countywide. Foster children can face enormous obstacles and the Bereans’ work is vital. “The most challenging aspect is finding qualified foster and adoptive parents,” Malcolm said. “When we screen foster parents and adoptive parents, we look for many positive qualities. We look for emotional stability, commitment to the child’s best interests, understanding of trauma, whether they have a good support system, their respect for birth family, developmentally appropriate parenting and if they are able to uphold the rights of the foster children.”
Mary and Malcolm say the most rewarding part of working with Share Homes is when past foster children or adoptive children return to the agency and thank the staff for serving them when they were most at risk. Foster parents who work with Share Homes said they appreciate the small agency because everyone knows each other and it’s a family-like environment. Malcolm said, “The need for foster and adoptive families is great. We receive intakes for numerous foster children daily.” Some of these children are housed at the local shelters until an appropriate match is found. The largest need is for foster or adoptive parents for large sibling sets and older stable teens. There is also a huge need for specialized parents who are trained to deal with children who may have ADHD, oppositional behaviors and developmental disabilities.
“Sometimes serving as a foster or adoptive parent has its trials, yet it can be deeply meaningful and rewarding in so many ways. And, most importantly, it can make a long-lasting impact on a child’s life by providing safety, stability and care to a child who is going through a deeply traumatic time. It is rewarding to teach children life skills and coping mechanisms that they can use throughout their life,” the couple emphasized. The ultimate success is when an adoptive child is placed with a forever family who can make a long-term contribution to a child’s life when no other suitable parent or relative can provide care. Share Homes will hold orientations at their Lodi office February. 11, 15 and 25 for prospective foster and adoptive parents.
The Bereans know firsthand how important it is for all children to have a stable, supportive and caring family. Their work in social services coupled with their therapy practice has given them a strong foundation to help children through difficult times and to learn coping strategies that will serve them throughout their lives.
Their work has also given the Bereans the time and flexibility to raise four beautiful children of their own and achieve that elusive work-life balance. Today, their oldest Isabella is 27 and uses her bachelor of science degree in finance in her career with Matthews Commercial Real Estate. Dante, 22, is also studying finance at Delta College. He hopes to transfer to University of the Pacific; he has worked at Pietro’s in Lodi for the past four years. Demitri, 20, is taking pre-business classes and pursuing a finance degree at the University of Arizona. And their youngest, 17-year-old Delano, is a senior at Lodi High. He works at Round Table in Lodi and plans to attend college in Arizona to study accounting.
Raising hard-working and responsible children while juggling careers is always a balancing act, but the Bereans counted on help from Mary’s mother, whom they affectionately call Nonni. “My mother was very instrumental and supportive in helping out with our children and making it possible for us to juggle all of our responsibilities,” Mary said. That close bond with Nonni continues today.
With their youngest graduating from high school this year, the Bereans will soon find themselves entering a new stage of life as empty nesters. They will continue a close relationship with all their children, planning family vacations, holidays and get-togethers or visiting them wherever they may have landed. They also enjoy traveling, boating, concerts, cooking and hanging out with good friends. Most importantly, they will continue to invest in their own relationship as true partners; one pursuit they have started together is yoga. They truly enjoy each other’s company whether it’s work or play!
