The Wait, The Questions, The Emotions
As I write, I’m working from home. I have a 16-month-old baby girl asleep in her crib with strep throat and we are waiting for her COVID-19 test results to come in. On top of it all, I’m an emotional 32-weeks pregnant.
This pandemic has taken a toll on me and my family. For a few weeks in April and May we pulled our baby girl out of daycare and I kept her home with me. I would wake up at 3:00 a.m., go to work—in our basement. The rest of the day I was with Evelyn. It was so hard but at the same time I was worried about her being exposed to the virus at daycare. So little is known about the toll it takes on children that I didn’t want to take the chance. After a while, I knew it was time to send her back to school. I couldn’t do it anymore. More power to all the mamas who could; I’m jealous of you. I was tired, emotionally and physically, and on top of it, growing another little human inside of me.
I went back to work at the station July 6. It was strange going back. The station was, and still is, like a ghost town in many ways. There’s mail stacked up for people as if they’ve just been on vacation but in reality, it’s mail from the last seven months. Many of the computers are gone from desks in the newsroom, now at home with reporters so they don’t have to go back and forth from the station. I haven’t seen many of my coworkers, who I would usually see almost daily, since March. It’s just weird.
Things went well until August. I had taken the week off; we were supposed to go to Florida for the week as we always do with my side of the family. But like most of the summer, COVID cancelled our plans. Instead, Evelyn and I packed up and went to the Missouri boot heel with my mom, brother, sister, niece and nephews to visit my great-aunt for a few days. I felt good about the trip. I needed it mentally. I needed to get away, I needed the break. We got to Dexter in the early afternoon and just a few hours later I got a phone call. It was Evelyn’s daycare. They told me a baby in her class had tested positive for the virus and Evelyn had been with them on Friday for several hours. I was a mess. I was so worried about this little, innocent, wide-eyed, happy baby. Was she a carrier of the virus? Was she going to get really sick? I was supposed to protect her, and I felt like I completely let her down. Then at the same time, I worried about my great-aunt. If Evelyn did have the virus, I didn’t want my aunt to get it. We ended up leaving Dexter after a lot of tears. Evelyn and I went back home to mid-Missouri and quarantined for two weeks. It was so hard and my emotions were all over the place. It was a lonely two weeks. Both Evelyn and I would get so excited for when “Da-da” would get home from work, a new human (that we love) to interact with! After the two weeks, we were cleared and went back to work and school.
That brings me to now. My mom was here over the weekend, helping us paint the new baby’s nursery and see Evelyn. On Monday, Evelyn started to get really fussy, tired and just generally wasn’t acting like herself. That night she woke up about midnight screaming at the top of her lungs. We knew something wasn’t right. Tuesday afternoon we saw the doctor, and that’s when she got tested for strep and COVID. The strep test came back quickly but the COVID test has taken its time. As of now, it’s been more than 24 hours. I’ve checked the health app we have for the doctor about a million times. I sat by my phone, waiting for a phone call, all while trying to not let my mind wander. Does Evelyn have it? Will I get it? What about my mom and husband? For now we just wait. I work from home and take care of Evelyn, hoping she will take a long nap so this tired mama can take one too. ■
Written by: KRCG13 News Anchor, Meghan Lane
Meghan Lane is the evening anchor at KRCG 13. She is the longest-tenured female on-air talent at the station and has worn many hats at the station including morning anchor and interim news director. She has recently begun a series called Mom to Mom in which she focuses on the stories and challenges motherhood brings. She actively volunteers in the community through Big Brothers Big Sisters and several local nonprofits. Meghan is married to husband Daryl and is a new mom to her beautiful baby girl, Evelyn.
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