Pandemic Pregnancies
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Amber Dunlap – Elenoir Grey
Amber Dunlap, RN, BSN, OCN, mom of two with the birth of Elenoir, has been a nurse for ten years, having earned her degree at Missouri Western State University. She moved to Columbia from St. Joseph, Missouri, eight years ago and has been married for six years.
HLM: What was your initial reaction when this all started? How far along in your pregnancy were you?
AD: Honestly, “oh, crap.” I was around four months pregnant when it really hit home. Changes happened quickly both at work and socially.
HLM: Were you able to have visitors at your doctor’s appointments?
AD: Nope. I would write everything down, often calling my husband in the car afterwards so I wouldn’t forget anything to tell him.
HLM: Did you get to participate in baby showers of any kind?
AD: Yes! My loving sister never lets an opportunity to spoil me pass her by. She threw me a “virtual shop and send” baby shower.
HLM: How did you overcome this new lack of a support network? Or was your support system amazing?
AD: In some ways there was a definite lack of support and uncertainty on a daily basis. However, in other ways like family, friends and my healthcare team, there was an increase as we rallied to get through this together. Also, my husband is pretty amaze-balls. Somehow after 11 years we continue to make a great team. I’ve always been extremely lucky to have an amazing support system. Close family, good friends and the right partner truly are everything.
HLM: How did you overcome challenges such as caring for additional children at home while daycares were closing, schools being closed and other issues that might have arose?
AD: One word: Mom. Many have helped my family through these challenges, but my mother held down the fort. She poured time, energy, sweat and gas money into my family, making sure my two-year-old had a familiar face she could count on when daycare had to close. Both my husband and I were deemed essential and were unable to stay with her. Mom fed the pets, plants, got groceries, cooked, kept this prego sane and offered my husband time. Also, our daycare provider was unnecessarily supportive and understanding during the closings; I know not all were able to be.
HLM: What was the most poignant or meaningful moment of your experience during the last few months?
AD: All the chaos aside, as fast and overlooked as this pregnancy felt, it all melted the moment Elenoir reached for me with her tiny arms.
HLM: Is there anything else you’d like to add about your experience?
AD: Remember, we are all in this together.
Ashley Farrar – Jordy Ash
RN Ashley Farrar’s career in nursing extends ten years, after she got her BSN from Lincoln University. She and her husband grew up in Owensville and chose to live in Jefferson City after their marriage eight years ago. Jordy is their third child.
HLM: What was your initial reaction when this all started? How far along in your pregnancy were you?
AF: I was about 14-15 weeks pregnant when everything started with the pandemic. I remember being scared and full of anxiety. Just the fear of the unknown. Not knowing how it could affect me or the baby if I did end up getting COVID was the scariest part.
HLM: Were you able to have visitors at your doctor’s appointments?
AF: My OB was in Jeff City. For the most part their policies were very similar to Columbia OBs with visitors. My husband was not allowed at appointments, but he was able to go to our 20-week ultrasound, which I was very thankful for. I have two little boys and I wanted them to be there and be a part of this pregnancy journey at the appointments, but unfortunately, they didn’t get to come to anything.
HLM: Did you get to participate in baby showers of any kind?
AF: The unit I work on had planned a baby shower but due to the mask ordinance in Columbia and rising numbers of positive COVID cases we felt it was best to cancel the baby shower. They did have a carry-in at work with gifts.
HLM: How did you overcome this new lack of a support network? Or was your support system amazing?
AF: I feel like I had a great support system with my family and coworkers. My saving grace through the whole thing was the fact I was going through all of this with coworkers who were also pregnant. I feel like we leaned on each other to help get us through.
HLM: How did you overcome challenges such as caring for additional children at home while daycares were closing, schools being closed and other issues that might have arose?
AF: Not only was it difficult to be pregnant through this pandemic but also having children at home to care for. I know I worried so much about exposing my kids and my husband. We had a routine once I got home. My kids knew that there were no hugs from Mommy until work clothes were off and Mommy had a shower.
Childcare was another concern. Both of our kids’ childcare facilities had closed with no idea of when they would be back open. This left my husband and me scrambling and panicked because we both work full time. Thankfully, my husband’s company was working with their employees to make things accommodating for this situation. He was able to work from home and keep the kids.
HLM: What was the most poignant or meaningful moment of your experience during the last few months?
AF: I am so thankful I was able to have the girls at work. I don’t think I could have made it through everything. We all were going through the same thing, experiencing the same emotions, and dealing with the same issues. Delivering our baby and seeing her for the first time made everything so worth it. She was healthy and we had both made it through the craziness.
HLM: Is there anything else you’d like to add about your experience?
AF: I just want to give a shout out to my husband. He knew what I was going through and wanted to handle as much of the stress as he could. Handling the childcare issues we had was such a relief and one less thing I had to worry about.
Kara Kelley – Silas Christopher
RN Kara Kelley received her BSN from University of Missouri Sinclair School of Nursing in 2015. She also received a BHS from University of Missouri in 2012, She’s from Macon, Missouri, and moved to Columbia for college. After three years of marriage to a Columbia native, Kelley had their first child, Silas.
HLM: Were you able to have visitors at your doctor’s appointments?
KK: Since COVID-19 wasn’t a big issue in the U.S. until after Silas was born, I was able to have my husband, Devin, come to all my doctor’s appointments. Devin was able to attend the first doctor’s appointment after coming home from the hospital and then we started to see a lot of policy change. From there, only one parent has been allowed to go to the well child appointments. Since Silas is usually getting immunizations at these appointments, I am the parent who goes so I can nurse him during his shots. I try to write down questions that Devin has for the doctor, but I frequently feel like he is missing out by not getting to attend.
HLM: Did you get to participate in baby showers of any kind?
KK: We only had one baby shower, and that was in January before COVID-19 was a thing here.
HLM: How did you overcome this new lack of a support network? Or was your support system amazing?
KK: I expected my life to change after having a baby, but I was not prepared for the entire world to change the weekend we had him. The extreme hormonal shift that happens after having a baby paired with a novel pandemic was quite challenging. For a while, we did not feel comfortable having anyone visit, including grandparents. It was just Devin and me. I was struggling to breastfeed. All the support groups for new mothers and breastfeeding were non-existent. I was scared to go to the doctor’s office for a lactation consultation. This was a really hard time. Devin is my rock; he jumped right in and helped in any way possible. He cooked, cleaned, changed all the diapers, held Silas so I could sleep, helped Silas to latch when feeding, did all the grocery shopping and running errands, all while running his own business. He is an absolute rock star, and I don’t know what I would do without him. Together, we got through those first difficult weeks and we continue to thrive as a family of three.
HLM: How did you overcome challenges such as caring for additional children at home while daycares were closing, schools being closed and other issues that might have arose?
KK: Silas is my first child, so I have been fortunate to not have to worry about additional childcare. I was nervous initially that his daycare, A Galaxy of Stars, would close, but so far that has not been the case. With all the uncertainty revolving around children going back to school, I feel that his daycare has taken COVID-19 precautions very seriously and are doing everything they can to help keep their kids safe.
HLM: What was the most poignant or meaningful moment of your experience during the last few months?
KK: It is amazing having this new human that my husband and I created. I could stare at him in awe all day long. I am saddened that most of his family and our friends have not gotten to meet this beautiful being. Facetime and Zoom help, but not knowing when we may be able to travel to Maine so that Silas can meet the Kelleys, especially his grandfather, is disheartening. We will just have to keep trying to capture those special moments by photo or video until we can all see each other again.
HLM: Is there anything else you’d like to add about your experience?
KK: I have been so blessed with amazing coworkers. How lucky am I to have shared this experience and be able to ask for advice from ten coworkers who have had babies this year! I believe the patients whom we have gotten to know and care for have enjoyed watching the babies grow in the womb to where they are now. For some patients it serves as a nice distraction to talk about something other than a cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy treatment or the pandemic.
Nicole Sutton – Beckett Keith
Nicole Sutton, RN, completed a bachelor of science in nursing at the University of Central Missouri four years ago. She moved to Columbia from Peculiar, Missouri, two years ago and has been married a year and a half. Beckett is their first child.
HLM: What was your initial reaction when this all started? How far along in your pregnancy were you?
NS: Our son was born February 3, 2020. We didn’t hear about the pandemic until a week after we left the hospital. Honestly, I was more worried about the flu and cold season with him being a newborn. We had no idea what COVID-19 would turn into.
HLM: Were you able to have visitors at your doctor’s appointments?
NS: My husband was able to be at every ultrasound! With us being first-time parents, I couldn’t imagine it any other way. I was so thankful to have been able to have him there.
HLM: Did you get to participate in baby showers of any kind?
NS: We did. The pandemic wasn’t known until after our son was born.
HLM: How did you overcome this new lack of a support network? Or was your support system amazing?
NS: My support system was amazing! Starting with my husband, to my parents, in-laws and my coworkers. Going back to work is never easy; going back to work during a pandemic is harder. I never had to worry about daycare closing because of the options we had and the understanding of my coworkers.
HLM: How did you overcome challenges such as caring for additional children at home while daycares were closing, schools being closed and other issues that might have arose?
NS: We were so blessed by our family! We had multiple options when issues arose.
HLM: What was the most poignant or meaningful moment of your experience during the last few months?
NS: Most daddies don’t get the maternity time off that a mother does; however, because of this pandemic, my husband was able to work from home the 12 weeks I was off. I will forever be grateful for that time we had as a new family of three.
HLM: Is there anything else you’d like to add about your experience?
NS: This pandemic has been a whirlwind of unknowns and worry. Being a new mom, you already don’t feel prepared enough. However, this time has brought out so much good. My husband and I feel so fortunate for our church, our families, friends, our health and the community we are a part of. We can’t wait until we get to share our son with the rest of the world. I know I will never take a hug or smile from a stranger for granted ever again.
Rachel Roling – Tyson Ray
Rachel Roling, RN, earned her BSN from Lincoln University six years ago. She’s originally from Jefferson City and moved to Columbia four years ago. She and her husband of four years have a two-year-old and conquered a COVID-19 infection to bring Tyson into the world.
HLM: What was your initial reaction when this all started? How far along in your pregnancy were you?
RR: When COVID started, I was about two months pregnant and I was scared. There was little information how COVID could impact a pregnant woman and the baby. The unknown was the hardest thing to grasp and the fear during pregnancy was mentally exhausting.
HLM: Were you able to have visitors at your doctor’s appointments?
RR: My husband was able to be at our eight-week ultrasound and that was it until birth. Going to appointments together was something special we looked forward to so he would sit outside in the car in case I needed him.
HLM: Did you get to participate in baby showers of any kind?
RR: We did not have any group baby showers in fear of exposing our elderly grandparents and at-risk friends and family.
HLM: How did you overcome this new lack of a support network? Or was your support system amazing?
RR: My support network was amazing. From my family and friends to my OB, I had the best support. My OB immediately expressed her concerns of possible exposure to the baby and myself. My coworkers who were also pregnant leaned on each other when we were scared and were always checking in on each other.
HLM: How did you overcome challenges such as caring for additional children at home while daycares were closing, schools being closed and other issues that might have arose?
RR: The challenges of caring for our two-year-old at home while daycare was closed was a big one. Having to take time that was saved for maternity leave was the most challenging. As a mom, you feel the need to be the one taking care of your child when they can’t attend school; however, working in the oncology field as a nurse, I also felt the need to care for our patients during this difficult time. I am thankful for my husband and family that helped while daycare was closed.
HLM: What was the most poignant or meaningful moment of your experience during the last few months?
RR: That was when reality happened. My son was exposed at daycare, which landed my husband, son and me a 14-day quarantine. A few months later, I was having what I thought were third trimester pregnancy symptoms: a headache, fatigued and just feeling blah. Come to find out, I had COVID. I was scared, worried and mentally exhausted from that positive test result. My husband also was positive but thankfully our son never got it. With the support of my OB, family and friends, we made it through COVID with no complications and got the best, most healthy little boy!
HLM: Is there anything else you’d like to add about your experience?
RR: I am thankful to have gone through this journey with my coworkers who were also pregnant. Without their support and understanding of the stress of COVID, every day would have been a struggle. All of us women along with our spouses empowered each other to stay positive and optimistic during a difficult time of growing a human. ■