Just Sayin’

My husband and I will be married 16 years this May! The cool thing is that we are as in love today as we were back then. I don’t take that lightly. Look, I had to kiss many a frog before I found my prince. I truly treasure our relationship. But just because there’s love doesn’t mean there’s perfection.   

Life is a hard balance sometimes. Especially once kids enter the picture. When my son and daughter were babies, Matthew traveled about three days a week for his job. It’s all a blur, but I handled everything at home while he was away, as a working mom. That was tough. I knew he had to do what he had to do to take care of our family in the best way possible! But I struggled a lot feeling like the bulk of the kid stuff was on me. 

Having kids also changes a relationship. I’m not saying it’s for better or for worse; it just changes things. All of a sudden, it wasn’t just about me, him or us anymore. These two little people became the central focus and that’s still a challenge we face as a couple! We had gotten better about date nights and making time for each other. Then, COVID-19 hit and, well, you get it.

We’ve been through a lot together. From our infertility struggle to family drama to health crises, our relationship has stood the test of time. I honestly believe the secret to its success is that we are best friends and we respect each other. Romance, that “ooey gooey omg I love you so much I can’t breathe without you” feeling, sure felt nice in the very beginning! And while I still get butterflies when I look at him sometimes, what we have is so much bigger. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What more has helped us along the way? Staying true to who we are as individuals. We have our own separate hobbies and interests that we don’t restrict for each other. Finances; every couple handles theirs differently, but what works for us is to have his/mine/ours. I like to be able to buy things without having to ask. Most important? Honesty, trust and communication. We’re pretty good about not letting things fester. We try to work through things that come up as they come up. And finally, we’re a team. As the mom, I often have to guide the team (lol), but that’s where communication comes in. I’ve found that if I just ask, he’s more than happy to help with whatever. 

So, if you’re reading this and you’re about to take your own walk down the aisle, please accept my best wishes and congratulations! You’re about to embark on a new chapter that will for sure have its ups and downs. But there is something really cool about walking through life with someone you can truly count on by your side. Treasure it, nurture it and appreciate it. We’re lucky to have found love in this crazy, uncertain world. ■

Written by: Q104 personality, Jenny Matthews

Jenny Matthews was on the air at Mix 93.3 for 15 years and recently moved to Q104 to co-host The Morning Drive with Mike Kellar + Jenny Matthews, 6:00 to 10:00 a.m., Monday through Friday. Check out her podcast, Real Life with Jenny Matthews, follow along with her blog and connect at jennymatthewsonair.com.